Goals and Potholes

Running is a way for me to escape. I was never into running when I was in high school. In fact, the thought of having to run the mile was the most daunting thing to hear from our gym teacher. I gave forth minimal effort and got minimal results in consequence. But now, I ache to run. I thrive on it. It's my release, my therapy, my sanity. That is until a couple months ago when I realized that my goal of running a full marathon by the end of 2015 would not be realized.
I never imagined I'd want to run 26.2 miles, but as of the beginning of this year, I decided to take the crazy leap and go for it. And training was going amazingly and I felt like I was making really good progress. But then my wife's flare ups got worse. They lasted longer and life slapped us in the face with the realization that if we were going to sell our house, we had to do it now, while the market was hot. Thanks life...your timing is impeccable.
So, with all this swinging in motion, it put my long runs on hold and for almost two weeks before the big run, I had not had any practice runs in AT ALL. So, I decided since I had ran a half marathon before and did pretty well, I could definitely pull it off again. But that thought was depressing. As I picked up my packet the night before race day, I had to go to the admissions booth and let them know that I was switching from the full to the half. I received a new number, new shirt, and a bad attitude. Well, I guess I didn't receive the bad attitude. I gifted it to anyone who asked me how I was feeling about the marathon. Having to explain to them that I was not running the full was like salt to an open wound.
I decided to turn my frown upside down. To reframe my mind. The reason I couldn't run a full was because I was too busy taking care of my family to put in the training necessary. There is no shame in that. There is merit in the pursuit of raising a family. Growing five rugrats is a marathon in and of itself. Anyone who wants to say differently can babysit for a couple days. I triple dog dare you!
Anyway, so race day came along and I woke up with the new attitude. I got dressed and headed out the door. I spent my time at the new YMCA in downtown Des Moines, (Beautiful, by the way) and set up my mind for the race ahead. As I headed to the starting line, my grandfather's voice echoed in my head, "you are not running to win, you are running to finish." Thanks Pa, I needed that! The bell rang and I headed onward and upward. I ran through the heart of Des Moines, through the beautiful Water Works Park, around the stunning Gray's Lake and back downtown. I finished 13.1 miles in 1hr 54 minutes and 50 seconds. This wasn't a PR for me, but it was what I had aimed for and with the little training I had put in, I was pleased with the result.
I write all this because this time has taught me something. When you make a goal and you don't acheive it, it's easy to see it as a failure. But it's not. It's improvement, and that's something that shouldn't be ignored. I ran 13.1 miles with very little training and did it in under 2 hours. I'm proud of that. And now that I've accomplished that, I have reset my Full Marathon goal for next year. Here is what I've learned through all of this. We hope for the best but we must also anticipate life because it happens whether we want it to or not. I could have easily destroyed myself over not completing my goal this year, but I chose not to. Instead I'm choosing to celebrate what I have accomplished through life's crazy turns and topples and I choose to live in the knowledge that I gave it everything I had, whether in my training or in my role as a husband and father. I am leaving this year and taking nothing with me. I left it all out on the road. I plan to do the same next year.
So, I guess I'll end with this benediction. May you see that goals are made to better you, not define you. May you know that God views you as perfect and whole regardless of your short comings. May you see that life is not a sprint, but a marathon and you are running, not to win, but to finish. May you finish well.

Dam to Dam That Was Fun!

"Run with the Police" 5K

Man, I haven't posted on here in so long. So, quick recap of where I'm at in training. I've been  plugging in the miles and am running between 80 and 100 miles per month. I am feeling really good and my pace continues to improve. I ran the "Run with the Police" 5K a couple weeks back and learned a really good lesson there on race day jitters. I tried to push the pace too hard and ended up stalling out at mile 2. It was hot, humid and I was not prepared. I told myself at the beginning that I was going to treat it like any other run and just do my thing. But when the gun fired and people started passing me...well, I couldn't have that.
So, then last Saturday, I ran my first half marathon via Dam to Dam! It was way earlier in the morning, much cooler and I was more prepared. I remember just relaxing before the run, talking with friends and having a great time before the gun even fired. But once it was time to get lined up, it was kind of like a switch was flipped. I was all in. But, let's go back a bit and let you know where my head was at prior.

Heading to the bus

First of all, I was super scared about missing the bus. I mean seriously, that was my biggest fear. I woke up at 4am and had all my stuff set out the night before. I showered, got dressed, drank a protein shake and grabbed my coffee and headed out the door by 4:30am. I got downtown and circled the block a few times until I found a parking spot. Then, I got on that yellow bus. One of what looked like at least 20-30 buses! I lost count, they just kept pulling up. It was pretty exciting.
I sat down next to a guy and we began talking. He had done Dam to Dam before but this was only his second year doing the half as he had only done the 5K before that. He told me what everyone else did, that this was one of his favorites. We chatted off and on and I listened to others as they talked about their races. I mostly  sat and listened. I took it all in. Then we finally made it to Saylorville. We got off the bus and I put my bag of warm up clothes in the designated area and headed straight to the bathroom as I didn't want to wait until the last minute.
I did my duty  and it was only when I was about to stand that I realized...I had just sat in someone else's business. My mind went crazy. I was so mad and agitated! I almost lost it. But I knew I couldn't let this get to me. I had to focus. So I cleaned up and got out of there...There was a lady right behind me, so of course I made sure the seat was cleared for her. I'm not a jerk!
So...blah blah blah, back to the starting line, flip switched, me super focused. The gun fires. I don't hear it but people start moving, so I start. I had lined up at the 8 min. pace group so I started out slower and planned on doing negative splits. I had it all figured out in my head. I would start at 8:30 for three miles, 8:15 for another 3 miles. 8:00 for three miles and then between 7:50 and 7:45 for the last 4.1 miles. I was hoping to average just below 8:00 but I didn't quite make it.
But here's the thing. I was in the zone. I have never felt that calm during a run before. The water stops
were a huge energy boost and seeing all those people who came out to cheer us on was so motivating. I loved giving the high fives to the kids who were so quick to put their hands out. I read in a blog after the run that it's so good for the kids to have runners high five as they are the future and I was glad I did.
I was getting close to the end of the race and really wasn't feeling fatigued at all. And then I saw the finish line in the distance but knew there were a few turns ahead and looks were deceiving. That's
when I started to wain. I knew that it was mental and I had to just stick it out. Then my bluetooth headphones died. I was losing focus. I started slowing in my pace. I rounded a corner and that's when I saw my two oldest kids on the back of Papa's pick up truck watching for me. I yelled out to them and they frantically waved and cheered and Papa cheered too! That was it, the final push I needed. I picked up pace and realized I was running at about a 6.50 pace for that last 1,000 meters or so. I couldn't believe it but I was nearing the finish line. And then I hit it. I made it to the end! I ran it in 1:46.36. My pace was an 8:08 avg. But more importantly than all that, I did it.
As they handed me the medal, I just kind of walked away dazed. I couldn't believe that I was able to move like that and that I was able to turn on that switch and keep it on. I felt like a million bucks! As I made it back to where my dad and kids were, I was just beaming. I learned and I grew as a runner, and that to me is way more important than the pace, finishing time or medal. It was then that I realized, this isn't a phase, it isn't something that I'm going to stop doing. I am a runner and I have earned my spot among these amazing athletes. But I still realize, I am only half way to my goal. Time to krank it up!!!